Are you talking really fast? Or am I listening really slow.

Made the mistake of going through the drive through at Wendy's in Pueblo West yesterday.  Have you been through one of those lately?  Damn near a fatal mistake.  First, I do not have the menu committed to memory, so I have to actually look at it.  Well, no, the first thing that has to happen is I have to manuver the car into a position so I can SEE the menu.  That being accomplished I then need to see the words.  Now I wear trifocals so one of the three levels of glass should afford me the ability to actually see the words.  Now seeing the words and awakening my taste buds to that particular item is usually like passing something through congress.  And it helps to have some little chickadee blasting through the speaker "Yareddy?"  "Reddynowhuh?" 
Now there was not another car in sight so I am sure I was not holding up the line.  I finally had to tell her, "Listen honey, I am 70 years old and any meal I eat may be my last so I want to be sure it is something I will remember on my luge ride to the Pearly Gates.  So cool your heels and I will call you when I want you."
Apparently that either ticked her off or appeased her cause she got very quiet.  I finally decided on the value menu hamburger with french fries and no drink.  So I called her back to the mic.
"I would like the hamburger and an order of french fries on the value menu."
"Yawantcheeseonthat?"
"Huh?"
"Yawantcheeseonthatornotcheese?"
"Huh"  This girl was talking way faster than my ears could listen.  "Wait a minute, just let me slow that down."  I put my brain in warp speed and played it back to me. "You want cheese on that or no cheese."
"Ok, I got it.  No I do not want cheese on that.  For future reference had I wanted cheese I would have ordered the Cheeseburger for 40 cents more."
"Whatsizefriessmallmediumlargeorsupersize?"
"Huh?"
"Whatsizefriessmallmediumlargeorsupersize?"  Once more I played the warp speed slow down and play back game.  "What size fries?  Small, medium, large, or supersize?"
"Well honey, which size comes on the value menu for $1.19?"
"Small."
"Ok, I will take the small."
"Whattadrink?"  I immediately translated that and told her, "Nothing."  Not going to guess what I might have ended up with on that one.
" $2.47."  And I took that as a dismissal.  Since no drawer was proffered and no hand came out the window I took that as a signal that I should proceed on the drive way to the next window.  Sure enough a hand popped out, grabbed my money, an pushed a sack towards me, which I grabbed before it hit the ground.
Now this is an open letter to all you little fresh faced little newbies entering the work force.

Dear Who ever you are,

    I am old.  My ears have apparently not kept up with changing times.  They are slow.  When you speak to me you need to leave spaces between your words.  At the end of the sentence there will be a period which indicates a breathe before forging to the next sentence.  Like this..."Hello, Old Lady.  I know you are slow witted and not always sure what you want, but I will give you a little time to decide.  I realize you did not wake up this morning knowing what you would want for lunch at a fast food place and since you are paying and eating it I will let you decide.  And I realize your bladder is only so big and I will not push the super size drink out the window at you."  Or something like that.

   I choose Wendy's over the other places because of the fresh faced little girl and Dave Thomas and his honest appeal.  MacDonalds has a reputation of luring children with thier ads so I never go there.  Burger King is alright, but seems a little pricey and austere.  I actually prefer the Senior Menu at Village Inn, but that involves setting alone and I do not like to do that.

   You need to know that since you are just entering the work force you probably have 50 years ahead of you during which you will no doubt encounter a lot of us old farts, but remember this, some day you are going to look down at the cuff of your shirt and see your mother's hand coming out of the sleeve.  To interpert, this means some day you are going to be old.  When I was young we were taught to respect our elders.  To help them across the street.  And if we encountered one who seemed a little confused we were to be patient with them.  Try it.

    In exchange for that, I will pay my bill promptly and move out of the way for the next customer.  And I will smile at you, because I actually like people and I know the next generation will be the one that slaps me in the nursing home.
   So have a good day and take pity on us old people.

And those are my thoughts for today. Today I will take a sandwich with me. 

Oh, I been so busy!

Well, if you wonder where I am, try Pueblo West at the Jingle Bell boutique.  And if you wonder what I am selling, try the Arse Lookin at You face and body butter.  Had to run home last night and make a bunch!  And for those of you who do not know, I only have two hands.  So I am giving you a quick update and then into the shower, off to the West and stop and mail out 100 Crown Royal bags to a lady in MN.  Lovely lady named Mary who is going to make a quilt and I hope she sends me a picture.  I am sure she will.  Got the Crown Royal bags from my niece in Oklahoma (Hi Cindy) and they are to sell and raise money for my SCAP clients.  Can not beat a deal like that!

I think the weather is supposed to get nasty, but I hope not.  I plan on going to Lakin, Kansas for Thanksgiving.  Course it will be my usual 8 hours on the road and 2 hours visiting.  Got the geese and animals to take care of, you know.  But it is not the length of the visit, but the quality that counts.  Sam said he might drive up for the day.  We will see. 

Course then Friday is the Parade of Lights.  As I recall every time I go to that I about freeze to death.  I was dating that guy in the high rise that sets right off Union and had I kept that connection I could have watched the parade from the sixth story balcony.  But you know me and how this dating thing goes.  Men require time and when was the last time I sat still and did not fall asleep?  That ticks them off.  Well, sorrrrrrrrrrrry!

So now I am off to do the 8 hours at the Boutique.  I promise I will get back to interesting stuff as soon as this is over.  Sunday is church and then break down the tables, etc. at the VFW.  Then Monday meeting with the Insurance and Century Link.  Then I should have a breather.  So bear with me.  :)

But are you missing my real calling?

Just a little note here to let some of you know that if you are not checking in on http://www.delilahsdatingdilemma.blogspot.com then you are missing my feeble attempt at a novel.  I do not want to give it away, but I am writing ahead of what you will be reading and I have to work on it in the daylight because I am scaring myself.
You will need to go to the address above and go back to the November 6 post to start at the beginning, unless of course, you like to read magazines as I do.  I start at the back and read to the front.  But on books I start at the front.  All a matter of personal preference, me thinks.
When you read this please keep in mind that it is pure fiction at it's very best  And leave me a comment which you do by clicking on that little envelope at the end of the post.  Give me your real opinion, cause you know I appreciate honesty!
The name of it is Chapter One.

Well, the Arse is now on hold!

This is what is going on in my kitchen this morning.  Absolutely nothing.  See I invented this wonderful face cream with the main ingredient of Hemp Butter.  I mean this stuff is great and I have testimonials if you want to read them. "Lou, this is great!  I wear it under my make up and no grease.  Will be back for more."  That from one of my eBay customers.  Send some to a friend in New York and told him to let his girlfriend try it.  Told him it made my face as soft as a babies butt.  He had the brilliant idea to name it "Arse Lookin' at You!"  Course he loves it and is not sharing with the girlfriend.  says she can just buy her own.
Then he came up with the brilliant idea to put it in black or camoflague tubs and market it to men with the slogan "Every man needs a little Arse!"  I have not gone there yet, nor have I needed too.
So I made a bunch of this and slapped the Arse label on half and Hemp Butter on the other half.  Between the church and the weavers sale I sold every bit of it. So yesterday I got out all my ingredients, the scales, the tubs, and the cooking pan and stick blender.  What I did not get out was the key ingredient, because I am out of that.  Seems I got busy making stuff up for the sales and neglected to order a tub of Hemp Butter.  So I got on my trusty sight and ordered 5 pounds of it.  Checked 3 day ground because the "I forgot to order and need this bad so please rush it to me" method of shipment would have added an extra $126 to the price.  Now even I am smart enough to know that if I want to make money I have to keep my cost low.  So here I set, telling you about it instead of making it.
Now I do have some in the refrigerator, but it is for eating.  It is not refined and has seeds in it.  I put it on toast in the morning with just a little jelly cause it is just like peanut butter only different.

So now I measured everything out so all I have to do is put the Hemp Seed Butter in and finish the job.  I can put all this stuff away and get busy and make something like this:

See I have a little friend coming up from Florida to spend a few days and she has a sweet tooth that will not quit.  I just wanted to let all you people out there who think I am infallible know that such is not the case.  In my defense, however, I worked very hard getting ready for the Church sale and the weavers sale, but this Jingle Bell just snuck right up on me.  Think I have plenty of other stuff, just the Arse is missing.  Should pull it on eBay but I am sure my stuff will get her quickly.  Those people in Utah are nothing if not speedy.

Hopefully tomorrow I am going to have the pictures of the towels my friend Alex sent me from Wales.  Got to frame them because it would be a sin to actually use them!

Until tomorrow then,  

May the good Lord take a liken' to you!

As promised!

Donna Graham, like the cracker!

Drum roll, please!!!!  This is Donna Graham from Walsenburg, Colorado.  She is standing beside her art work that was actually in a New York Gallery.  Oh, I am hobnobbing with the big girls now!  I am so honored.  She explained to me that these three items are actual things she crocheted, knitted or wove and then saturated with something ( big words and my mind closed up ) and then draped them on somthing else.  See, the best part about art is that you actually have to see it and touch it.  I seen this and touched it and I was impressed.  She may be an artist and hang her work in New York, but she is still a Colorado girl!

And here is a close up of the art work as well as the tattoo she got so long ago that it had to be redone.  Seems like the original one she gave to herself when she was bored in Biology class.  Got to tell you, I have never been that bored!  Never poked myself and never let anyone else come at me with a needle either.  But as far as photography goes, I would say this picture is worth a thousand words.  We have the art work, which is absolutely mesmerizing and then we have the hand in front of it that belongs to the artist and lets us know that she is a real human.  The card from the New York Gallery which shows success.  Full Circle is what I will call it.
This is a little number that Donna knitted but first she spun the yarn.  Oh, I do envy this girl her patience.  Bet she makes Apple Pies also!                                                                                            I think this is a shawl.  I could be wrong.  Would not be the first time.  Let me go check the album captions.  Well, that was not much help because I apparently did  not know when I put the captions on the pictures.  But I will say it is Donna's until some one corrects me!
Now, I recall Donna telling me she lives in WalVeta.  That means it is the same distance from her house to Walsenburg as it is to LaVeta.  I am going to go see her next summer and hike in her mountains. She can carry a shotgun and make sure a bear does not get me!
Donna was also on the board that put this sale together.  They mostly stayed up in the inner sanctum and ran figures through the computers.  Last year they gave me an award for shutting down the computer the most times.  They gave me a pink sheep with holes all over it.  Elvira   thinks it is hers and shakes it.  The stuffing is all gone now.  I do want to commend all the ladies who made this years sale such a success.  And these are in no particular order.  Oh, wait!  They are in alphabetical order!!  Hats off to :

JANET ANZLOVAR ........DEMONSTRATIONS              

JOAN ARCHULETA.........CASHIER TEAM                  

INA BERNARD.................ADVERTISING

MARJORIE BRATZLER...REFRESHMENTS         

LYNNE GNAIZDA............ADVERTISING

DONNA GRAHAM............CASHIER TEAM-INVENTORY & INVITED ITEMS

MARILYN HOISINGTON.STANDARDS & CHECK-IN

BETTY KOCHEVAR.........PROPS & SET UP

TARA MATTHEWS...........SCHEDULING

JUDI PATTERSON.............GUILD PRESIDENT-EX-OFFICIO

TERRI ROSTAD.................GUEST ARTISTS

KAREN SMITH..................STANDARDS AND CHECK IN

COLETTE WRIGHT...........CO-CHAIR & CASHIER TEAM-TREASURER

DONNA GOWER................CHAIR & CASHIER TEAM-HEAD CASHIER

CAROLE SNOW.................SCHEDULING

CAROL SALAS...................STANDARDS & CHECK IN

                       Tomorrow I will post just a slide show of the closing day of the Handwoven Holiday Sale!  Watch for it!

Five Minutes on the soap box.

Well, I know I am in the middle of something with my ladies, but I have got to hop up on my soap box here for just a few.  I know they will not mind this little diversion.
America, what in the hell are you thinking?  Riots over Penn State coach firing!  Is a ball game that important?  Where have I been all my life?  I see acts of cowardice on the news when a 2 year old girl was hit in the street and people walked past and paid no attention.  I think that was in China.  What did the world say?  They said  "Things like that happen in the United States, but not here."  We have become known as a country of callous beings.
Where else are athletes paid millions of dollars to play a season of ball, put them on a pedestal, and then riot in the streets because a 10 year old boy got himself raped and the adults who were supposed to protect him turned blind eyes?  That particular coach was to be excused because he had a winning team!  I am sorry, I just don't get it.  Sandusky is the guilty one here, you say?  Sandusky is not the only one to share in this debacle.  There are laws in place to protect the weak and young and they are there for a reason.  There were a lot of responsible people who turned a blind eye on this one.  This one and how many more just like it?
I am so sick of turning on my television and seeing some one with down cast eyes making their little spiel about "Oh, well, I am so sorry.  I should have done more."  The politicians who lie directly to the camera for weeks and then when confronted with the actual picture of them with thier hand in the cookie jar tell us, "Oh, well, I remember now.  I am so sorry.  I am an honorable man, but there was that one time."  And Lord only knows if all of Tiger's women were ever uncovered.  (Well, we know they were uncovered, but I mean in the sense of publicly discovered.)  I do admire his wife, oh, excuse me, his EX wife. 
I rather live in my own little world and try to just do what I think is right, and people, this is not right.  I look at my world around me and I am so happy that I am old and this is not going to be my fight that much longer.  Man's inhumanity to man is just about more than I can stomach for many more years.  I see the "Occupy " forces over on the corner and I watched the Tea Party blossom, falter and splinter.  I long for the days before technology when we did not see what was happening in virtual time. 
If I indeed do get to come back for another shot at this life, I hope I can come back in the time of the Pony Express and no phones, no television and I can eat fresh cows cream on my cracked wheat in the morning and top it off with a pat of real butter!